Whiskey Lullaby
by FluffyDemonSheepdog
Summary: [COMPLETE] The roles are reversed in the traditional SangoMiorku relationship: it's Sango who cheats and makes the mistakes. And we all know there are consequences to our actions.


  
Miroku glanced at the picture in his hand as he walked up to his house. It was a picture of him and his wife, Sango, hugging under a weeping willow on the day he had left. He was home now, and he couldn't have been happier.  
  
Opening the door of his house, Miroku dropped his baggage on the floor. He looked at all the pictures of him and Sango that were on the small table by the door, a smile breaking onto his face as he saw the picture of Sango on their wedding day...and all the other pictures that reminded him of their best memories that were there. Her voice spun through his head, telling him how she'd love him forever.  
  
Miroku walked toward the stairs that led up to their room. When he reached the door, he rolled down the sleeves of his white oxford suit shirt and straightened his tie, attempting to look his best for Sango. His violet eyes sparkled at the prospect of seeing her again. He reached out a hand for the doorknob and turned it, swinging open the door.  
  
His face fell as he saw Sango, her hair down and slightly mussed, on the bed, kissing another man. She quickly rolled off him and sat up when she heard the door squeak open. The smile disappeared completely from his face replaced by a sad frown that plainly asked "why?". His eyes no longer sparkled, but held unspoken hurt. Sango's face took on a sad cast, and her dark blue eyes wouldn't meet his. She looked down, and now she didn't look just sad, she looked ashamed.  
  
He hung his head down and turned to go. As he walked out of the house and threw one leg over the motorcycle that he always kept parked in the springy grass of the front yard—a fact that Sango had always protested—he heard the screen door bang open and shut behind him. Ignoring the sound, he started the engine and began to ride off. Sango's voice echoed behind him...  
  
()  
  
"Miroku!! Please!! Come back!! Please!!!" Sango yelled for the last time, even though she knew he couldn't hear her—he was too far away—and her voice choked with the tears streaming down her face. She sobbed aloud as she covered her face with her hands and collapsed to her knees on the front porch, her dark brown hair falling like a curtain around her.  
  
()  
  
_ She put him out  
Like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette  
She broke his heart  
He spent his whole life tryin' to forget  
We watched him drink his pain away  
A little at a time  
But he never could get drunk enough  
To get her off his mind  
Until the night...  
  
_()  
  
Miroku put the rim of the glass of beer to his lips again. It had been a month now since he'd found Sango cheating on him. Pain filled his heart as he thought about it. Banging his glass down on the bar, he buried his head in his arms...but soon, he lifted it again and held the empty glass out to one of the bartenders to be refilled.  
  
Kagome took the glass from her heart-broken friend and turned to a tap behind the bar to refill it. InuYasha, the second bartender, walked up as she was doing so, glancing at Miroku who had once again buried his face in his arms. "Kagome, are you sure it's safe to give him anymore?"  
  
Kagome, her bangs covering her eyes, stopped filling the glass with more beer, even though it was only halfway full. Setting it down on the counter that stretched behind the bar, she turned to her husband looking up at him. He saw the tears—tears for their friend—collect in her eyes. "They...they were so happy...why did that have to happen?" she said, her voice cracking with the unshed tears.  
  
InuYasha slowly shook his head. "I don't know Kagome. I don't know." He hugged her gently, then turned away and picked up the half-full glass of beer. Dumping it down a nearby sink, he turned to Miroku.  
  
Miroku was staring off into the crowd of dancers on the dance-floor. He had seen someone who he had thought was Sango...but when he had blinked, it had been someone else entirely. Every girl's face that he looked at blurred and turned into Sango's. But, always, once he blinked she was gone.  
  
()  
  
Sango, a lone figure at the bar, stared sadly at Miroku. How she wished she could take back everything she'd done...but she couldn't. Bangs shadowed her eyes and a single tear slipped down her face. She stood to go...  
  
()  
  
"Hey, Miroku!" InuYasha snapped his fingers in front of the drunken man's face for what seemed like the fifteenth time. Finally, his friend turned to him.  
  
"What?" Miroku slurred as he turned towards his black-haired friend.  
  
"It's time for you to leave, Miroku. You need to go home. No more tonight," InuYasha said firmly. Miroku numbly nodded and stood. Swaying from side to side, he staggered toward the door of the bar.  
  
Kagome came up beside InuYasha. "Will he be okay?" she whispered staring sadly after him.  
  
"Tonight? Maybe. For the rest of his life..." InuYasha shook his head for the second time that night. "No one's ever really okay, no matter how much they say they are, after someone breaks their heart, even if they do so without meaning to."  
  
The tears that had been gathering in Kagome's eyes slipped silently down her face. Suddenly she caught sight of Miroku, in his drunken walk, stagger into one of the meaner customers of the bar. Watching in horror, she winced as the customer struck out, hitting Miroku. InuYasha leaped over the bar and ran towards the two, trying to break up what Miroku had started purely by accident.  
  
()  
  
After the fight had been broken up and both of the participants lead out of the bar, Miroku, kneeling on the ground, leaned against the body of his motorcycle. His head was spinning all the more from the hit and he didn't see as Sango drove by. He didn't see the sad, sad look she gave him. He didn't see the worry in her eyes as she drove away. Miroku sat there for a long, long time, until his head stopped its spinning. He got onto his only means of transportation and drove away to his apartment.  
  
Unlocking the door and walking in, he remembered another time he had opened a door and walked in, the worst moment of his entire life. Tears coursed silently down his face as he opened the fridge and took out a bottle of beer. After one was finished, he just went back and got another, and another...  
  
()  
  
_ He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away her memory  
Life is short but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees  
We found him with his face down in the pillow  
With a note that said, "I'll love her till I die"  
And when we buried him beneath the willow  
The angels sung a whiskey lullaby_  
  
()  
  
When finally Miroku finished the last beer, he dragged a pencil and pen from a drawer—the same drawer that held the gun. This he picked that up too, and carried all three to his bedroom. Sitting on the bed, he used the bedside table as a hard surface to bear down on, shakily writing the note that would be the last anyone would ever hear of him. Placing the note near him, he sat cross-legged on the bed and picked up the gun.  
  
Putting the barrel to his temple, he cocked the gun. His finger squeezed the trigger slowly inward. He knew that no matter how much he drank he wouldn't forget Sango. He knew that the pain he carried in his heart was too much for him...and that he wouldn't ever have the strength to get his life back in line. That he wouldn't ever have the strength to stand back up straight and tall after the painful blow dealt to him on that terrible day.  
  
He closed his eyes as tears streaked down his face. "I love you Sango..." he said as he pulled the trigger. The shot rang out as the bullet barreled through his skull, into his brain, killing him before his face even hit the pillow.  
  
()  
  
The next day found Kagome and InuYasha speeding over to Miroku's apartment. They had heard the news from the police. As they came through the door, they were approached by Sesshomaru, InuYasha's half brother and the Chief of Police, and Kouga, a friend of them and also the second-in-command of the police force. Both were friends of Sango and the now-dead Miroku.  
  
"Suicide," Sesshomaru said quietly, showing them the plastic bag that held the gun Miroku had used on himself. Obvious pain showed in Kouga's, Kagome's, and InuYasha's eyes. Even in Sesshomaru's eyes there lurked sympathy and pain.  
  
All four turned as the door to the apartment opened. Sango stared back at her four friends, then turned her tear-stained face away from them and walked forward. "Sango, we've been waiting for you to get here," Kouga said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.  
  
She turned her face toward him and she spoke quietly, "Yes?"  
  
Kouga held a slip of paper out to Sango and said, "We found this next to Miroku's body. We thought you would want to see it.  
  
Sango took it from him and looked at it. It was written in shaky writing that appeared to have been blotched by tears, but it was unmistakably Miroku's. New tears coursed down her face as she read what was written on the paper. "May...may I keep this or do you still need it?" she asked tentatively.  
  
It was Sesshomaru who answered. "You may keep it." She nodded her thanks and turned to leave. Kagome started to say something to call her back, but InuYasha stopped her.  
  
"Let her go," he said gently, and she gave a silent nod. InuYasha then turned to his brother. "What did the note say?"  
  
"As you may have guessed, it was Miroku's suicide note. It said...'I'll love her till I die'", Sesshomaru answered.  
  
Kagome gave a slight gasp. InuYasha put his arm around her and she leaned into him. Policemen started filing out of the apartment. Sesshomaru turned to go, too, and Kouga followed. Kagome and InuYasha sadly followed the medics who pushed a gurney with Miroku's body, covered in a sheet, out the door.  
  
()  
  
A few days later, they had the funeral. It was a small service, with only the priest, InuYasha, Kagome, Sesshomaru, Kouga, and Sango there. Before the whole horrible thing had happened, when Sango and Miroku were still making plans for the future, they had bought a private plot in a cemetery. Standing sentry over his grave was a lone weeping willow.  
  
As his casket was lowered into its grave by the men, Sango stared down after it. Pain filled her heart as a tear slipped down her face, followed by more and more, but they were silent tears. Once Sesshomaru, Kouga, and InuYasha had finished filling in the grave and making a small cross marker bearing Miroku's name, his date of birth, and his date of death on the cross beam, Sango's four friends turned to go.  
  
She lingered a little longer, then turned and followed them, her head bowed. A breeze whipped the willow branches and as the tree's leaves rustled against each other, she could have sworn she heard singing and, even though she couldn't have identified these as his last words, Miroku saying "I love you Sango..."  
  
()  
  
_ La la la la la la la  
La la la la la la laa  
  
La la la la la la la  
La la la la la la laa_  
  
()_   
  
The rumors flew  
But nobody knew how much she blamed herself  
For years and years  
She tried to hide the whiskey on her breath  
She finally drank her pain away  
A little at a time  
But she never could get drunk enough  
To get him off her mind  
Until the night...  
  
_()  
  
Sango had heard too many rumors of what people thought had happened to Miroku and why. Pulling her secret bottle of whiskey from the fridge, she opened it and drank until it was gone. She staggered up, feeling the potent alcohol's effects, and went and lay down in her bedroom—the bedroom that had been hers and Miroku's. She still lived in that house, two years and six months after his suicide.  
  
She knew why he'd done it. As this thought crossed her mind, she began to cry as she had every day since that horrible day when her mistake had led to the termination of a life more precious to her than her own. After all, he'd only killed himself because of what she'd done.  
  
The pain of memory and regret only caused more tears to flow. She wished for what seemed to be the millionth time that she hadn't cheated on him and that she could take back everything—her actions, his death...  
  
Finally she cried herself into sleep, where she dreamed of Miroku and all the times before...  
  
()  
  
The next day, when she woke up, she went over to Kagome and InuYasha's house. When Kagome opened the door, she looked surprised to see her, but the surprise passed and she said, "Sango! It's great to see you, come on in!"  
  
When Sango walked into the living room the first thing she saw was a little five-year-old girl with brown hair and brown eyes walking away from InuYasha, who was kneeling on the floor, and towards Kagome. When Sango looked closer, she saw a look of joyful pride on InuYasha's face. He had turned into every bit the proud father.  
  
Her heart contracted as she thought, _That kid could've been mine and Miroku's. Miroku could have had that proud look on his face, he could've been that proud father...  
_  
Kagome picked up the little girl and, balancing her on her hip, turned back to Sango. Sango immediately smiled through the regret she again felt as Kagome said, "Sango, this is Rin." Kagome practically glowed as she looked back at her young child. "Rin, can you say hello to Miss Sango?"  
  
Rin looked up at Sango and said, "Hello Miss Sango."  
  
Sango bent down a little and said, "Hello Rin." Then she stood back up straight and said to Kagome, "She's so sweet Kag-chan."  
  
"Thanks Sango." Kagome smiled at her, knowing how hard it was for Sango to be happy now.  
  
InuYasha stood and came over to his wife, daughter, and friend. "Hey Sango. How ya been?" he asked.  
  
Sango's smile faltered for a second, then it appeared again. "Fine. Well, I...have to go now. See you guys later!" And she turned and walked out of the door, back over to her house.  
  
()  
  
Before going home, Sango stopped at Miroku's grave. Collapsing to her knees under the willow, she said to someone she knew couldn't hear her anymore, "Why did I do that to you? I'm so sorry Miroku. It was all my fault. All of this was. If I hadn't done that to you, you would still be alive, and we would be happy..." The tears began again as she kept speaking, telling the silence of InuYasha and Kagome's daughter, Rin, and how proud InuYasha was, and how she wished that could've have been Miroku. Finally she stood, went back to her car, and drove back to her house, wiping the tears that just kept coming away.  
  
()  
  
Once Sango got back home, she pulled out another bottle from her secret stash. Crying, she drank the whole bottle...and returned to get another...As she did so she passed the desk in which she kept...almost everything. And the thing that caught he eye as she walked past was a picture of Miroku. He was sitting on a bench somewhere and a weeping willow branch was draped across his shoulder. Another was apparently tickling his ear, because he was laughing.  
  
She picked it up and carried it with her back to get another bottle of whiskey. Again and again she went back, clutching Miroku's picture as if it were the most precious object she had ever owned. Her walk was more stagger than walk each time.  
  
()  
  
_ She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away his memory  
Life is short but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees  
We found her with her face down in the pillow  
Clingin' to his picture for dear life  
We laid her next to him beneath the willow  
While the angels sung a whiskey lullaby  
_  
()  
  
When finally the whiskey was gone, Sango, still clutching Miroku's picture, walked back to the desk and stood beside it. She pulled open a drawer and picked up the dully-gleaming black gun from the opened drawer. She looked at it, fingering the trigger.  
  
Walking into what had been she and Miroku's bedroom, she sat down cross-legged on the bed. She looked down at Miroku's picture as tears coursed down her face. She remembered all the times they'd had together. And she remembered her shame on that day when she'd ruined her own life, and his.  
  
She picked up the gun and put the barrel to her temple. She wasn't strong enough to get back to the way she'd been before she had hurt Miroku so deeply. And even if she did, what was the point? Even if she got back to normal, he would still be dead. She knew she wouldn't ever be able to stand up straight and tall after what she'd done to him...And she knew no matter how much she drank that she wouldn't be able to forget Miroku. She slowly cocked the gun and began to squeeze the trigger inward.  
  
Sango closed her eyes as more tears coursed down her face. Clinging to his picture, she whispered as she pulled the trigger, "I love you Miroku..." The shot rang out as the bullet barreled through her skull, into her brain, killing her before her face even hit the pillow.  
  
()  
  
Again Kagome and InuYasha were rushing to the house of a friend who had committed suicide. Again they were approached by Sesshomaru and Kouga, who again showed them the gun that Sango had used on herself.  
  
"She was holding onto this picture," Sesshomaru said as he handed them the picture of Miroku on the bench under the willow. The glass in the frame was slightly cracked from when she'd fallen on it.  
  
Tears flowed openly down Kagome's face and InuYasha's eyes burned with the feeling of crying as he blinked back the tears threatening to spill over. Rin, who was holding onto her father's hand, did not really understand what was going on, but she knew that something bad must have happened to make her Mommy cry and her Daddy want to. The little girl clung closer to her dad as a tear finally slipped down his cheek, wanting him to be okay.  
  
InuYasha looked down at his daughter and smiled even though the tears were starting to come, trying to reassure her. He gripped her hand a little tighter and put his other arm around Kagome. Once again they followed medics pushing a gurney with their friend's body on it out the door of the house.  
  
()  
  
Soon after the funeral took place. This one, too, was small, with only InuYasha, Kagome, Rin, Kouga, Sesshomaru and the priest. They buried Sango next to Miroku under the weeping willow.  
  
Kagome held Rin's hand as Sango's casket was lowered into the ground, the grave filled in, and a cross marker made bearing Sango's name, her date of birth, and date of death on the cross beam. The small breeze whispered the leaves of the willow together and Kagome could have sworn she heard her two best friend's voices.  
  
Shaking her head, she turned and began to walk away, not noticing when Rin slipped her small hand out of her grasp. As the others walked away, Rin turned back to the graves and the willow. Watching as the wind picked up a little and whipped the branches against each other, she was the only one to see as two figures walked from behind different sides of the willow.  
  
It was Sango and Miroku. They approached each other slowly. Sango looked at Miroku a moment, then glanced down. Rin watched with a slightly puzzled expression on her face. A smile bloomed on Miroku's face as he looked at Sango. She looked back up to see him smiling, and she, too, smiled. He stretched his hand out to her and the smile turned into a grin. She rushed into his arms, smiling wider than she ever had in life.  
  
Miroku caught her in the embrace, swept her off her feet, and spun her around. Once he stopped, they came together as if to dance. But then they came closer than that and kissed more lovingly and passionately than they seemingly ever had in life. When they broke away from each other, Sango whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry Miroku."  
  
Miroku, his cheek resting on the top of her head and his arms around her, whispered back, "I forgive you Sango."  
  
Rin smiled as she saw this, then turned to catch up to her parents. As she left, another small breeze whispered in the branches of the weeping willow. As Rin grew older, she could have sworn that the wind was the words of two lovers, declaring their love and saying all was forgiven.  
  
()  
  
_ La la la la la la la  
La la la la la la laa  
  
La la la la la la la  
La la la la la la laa  
  
La la la la la la la  
La la la la la la laa  
  
La la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la..._  
  
()


End file.
